A year ago.
3 p.m. Stopped at a T-intersection with oncoming traffic. Waiting to turn. Clear. Left. Right. Le…..
An immense, darkening, quick amount of pressure hit. I lifted my head in confusion to notice my car had been pushed into the middle of the T-intersection. Thankfully, no oncoming cars were present. I looked in my rear view mirror saying a quick, “Please don’t drive away,” prayer. I walked out seeing my hanging bumper touch the ground. Avoiding stepping on white plastic and glass, I made my way to approach the other driver.
After making a call to authority, I sobbed and grunted in frustration at the scene. “Why now? Why of all times, now? In exactly 12 hours, I am meeting my team at the airport, a team I’m supposed to lead, we are going to be in the deserted desert of Arizona. God, this really, really, really, sucks, please don’t let me get any excruciating pain!”
3 a.m. I arrive at the airport with an ice pack in hand for my neck. Everything and everyone passes security except for my ice pack as it was “50% solid and 50% liquid.”
I applied lots of Icy Hot balm on the plane rides and every night in Arizona. My teammates easily smelled my presence.
I could have blamed God, telling Him how awful He is for letting such a horrible thing happen, for making things difficult in such a time. After expressing to God how much the situation sucked, I chose to trust Him. Trusting God to allow me to be fully present as a team leader, to bring physical healing and let there be opportunity to take care of insurance logistics (We were out in the desert uncertain of service. There were cell towers right by the church!)
When crisis hits at the worse timing, choose to respond by fully leaning on God. Spill your beans to God. Pray honestly sharing with Him the hurt you feel, uncertainty you have, loneliness you are experiencing, distance you feel from Him. Hold fast in believing He is good in the moment of your pain.
“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” -James 1:6